Conference: Church of What’s Happening Now

Conference season is back.  It comes after summer when many have taken vacations or have had time off, and have probably done a few things they know they shouldn’t have; so it off to a religious conference to cleanse the soul.  But wait.  This year, it’s finally going to be different.  You won’t have to squeeze your clothes into a small bags and wrinkle them.  No need for hotel reservations and flight plans.  No scrimping on cheap restaurant food to make it all work (and forget about that indigestion too).

You can attend a religious conference without leaving the comfort of your favorite chair, and you’ll be leaving your money where you probably need it most; in the bank.

Attend religious conference titled “The Church of What’s Happening Now” where seating is not limited, and where it can be said without any hidden strings and catches that it’s absolutely free.  No offering will be taken, and there is no merchandise with glossy covers and luring titles on display in the lobby.

The title for this conference comes from a television comedy that ran in the sixties, and was the subject of a comedic skit performed by comedian Flip Wilson.  The author does not endorse Mr. Wilson.  He made a teenager laugh, but the mature man does not know if Flip found God or if he eventually flipped out.

But like that previous satire, this conference will take a short look at the contemporary church, the visible church, and make some observations.  So, stay in your pajamas, get a good cup of coffee, and relax in your comfortable chair for this short conference.  Admission is free.

For our first session we’ll take a look at what you’ll be missing by attending this conference instead of traveling.

Many of you have already heard of the “Super Conference 10.10.10.” where prosperity heretics Benny Hinn, T.D. Jakes and Senior Pastor Paula White will be performing in Florida in October.  The first thing to notice is that they all have to share the same ticket.  How’s that prosperity gospel working out for them in these tough times?

Sure, there are logistical concerns.  News is pouring out that Hinn and White have been sharing the same ticket for a while now.  And that revelation seems to have put a strain on their finances.  It’s also got them looking over their shoulder.

For instance, a short piece proposing different captions for an image promoting “Super Conference 10.10.10.” was run on member site News Snippets From All Beats. That piece contained a link to the original image ( could not in good conscious publish that image on this platform).

It so happens that on the very next day the website where the image resided invoked member sign-in authorization to view that image.  They took down the image, which was a group photo (a collage really) of the heretics.

What stinging oratory caused them to literally hide their faces?  Let’s have a look:

Super Fleecing Conference: 10.10.10

August 10th, 2010 by David Dansker

It is the policy of not to run an image of an ungodly reprobate, or of an evil man or woman; so long as another image can suffice with the content of an article, or when the subject is plainly too repugnant and blasphemous. Exceptions are sometimes made, but not in this instance. To view the image for which the following caption applies, readers must use the link provided.After viewing the link for “Super Conference 10.10.10,” read the caption: LINK

[UPDATE (8-11): Since this posting, sign-in authorization has been enacted to view the original image, but fortunately a screen shot exists HERE]

Appropriate Caption:

We will not be told by the Bible what to do.  If we women want to dress like men and call ourselves pastors to satiate our lust for power, we’ll do so.  If we want to wear religious collars to validate on the outside what does not exist on the inside, we will.  We don’t like Christ Jesus, and we don’t want to have anything to do with him.  We love ourselves.

We love extravagant vacations and expensive clothes, and luxury homes to return to.  We love your money.

We are nothing more than flashy orators and vocalists providing fleshly entertainment to disorient you in order to steal your money.  If all else fails, we will threaten you with a god we don’t believe in, much less serve.

We are a group of painted strumpets and cheap starlets and some demon possessed men, and we are a whoring after our other gods.  Won’t you join us?

Times are tight and most of our following fools are broke after taking our advice, so we had to team up on one ticket to increase the draw.

You will be able to gaze at the trappings of our material wealth and be awed by our style so that you can be made to believe that you too can possess all the things that you lust after by your brief association with us.  This is the substance of our unholy communion.

It is the communion you will take with us; a communion with demons at the Super Fleecing Conference.  On the scale of apostasy this is a 10.10.10.  Won’t you join us?

[If this caption isn’t the accurate one for the image, I’ll eat my own words (printed on chocolate to save a tree)]

It seems, ladies and gentlemen, that the truth cuts fast and deep when it’s run across, and these charlatans have been trading it under foot for a long time.  But the soles of their expensive shoes are wearing thin from being on the run, and the truth is beginning to hurt.

Having fun yet?  Next, we’ll look at another group of usual suspects.  Go get that second cup of coffee.

Session 2
Session 3
Session 4
Session 5

Session 6
Session 7
Session 8
Session 9

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